Thursday's Query

I have been neglecting my blog for a year now.  I think about sitting down and writing but having two 18 month olds and working and being mom takes its toll.  I have had a query on my mind and felt this would be a good post to get the ball rolling..also the Littles are both sleeping early for once!

Quakers like Queries...(Queries are kind of like Koans..something to meditate upon and see if way opens.)

I have been focusing on this particular query lately;

How do I honor that of God (or light) in my children?  And to take it a little further into my realm as a foster parent...How do I honor that of God (or light) in my children's parents?

While sitting in silence contemplating the query I began to realize that by honoring that of God in my children I really needed to honor that of God in their parents. 

A lot of times as a foster parent you are told about horrendous things that happen to your children before they came to live with you.  It is hard to see that of God (or light) in others when we are blinded by anger and fear and harsh judgements.  But to honor my children I have to take of my blinders because when the blinders come off we see the cracks and "its the cracks in our perfection that lets our light shine through"

Trying to find the good in a child's biological parent helps to build a relationship between the child and the foster parent, as well as helping the biological parent have more self worth.  An individual with more self worth will hopefully become a better parent and start to work on his/her path back to reunification with my children.

Putting my family aside I would ask you...

How do you honor that of God (or light) in your child/ren?

Humanism, Sexism and the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Those of you that know me well, know that I am a Humanist who leans towards Buddhist teachings.  I don't care what religion you practice be it Christianity, Islam, or even worshiping the Flying Spaghetti Monster as long as you don't rub it in my face or judge me for not following your beliefs.  I shook my head in stunned amazement jumped for joy the other day when the Pope declared it legal for sex workers to use condoms. Hooray..Condoms for all! (BTW in 6 degrees of separation I know the pope..I lived at his nieces farm house when I lived in Germany)

Yesterday someone twittered a link to an article called Creepy Christian Patriarchy Movement Shackles Daughters to Their Fathers and Homes. I can't resist any article that talks about shackling so I took a look.  Apparently there is a faction of Christianity called “Christian Patriarchy Movement.”  This movement reminds me of Christian Domestic Discipline or men who physically abuse spank their spouses in the name of Jesus.  They are “committed to affirming the historic faith of Biblical Christianity”...okay, I'm down with that..there are people in this world who follow a book written by SciFi writer L. Ron Hubbard..a la Tom Cruise!

In the article the author talks about how Christian girls are choosing to live under the rule of their fathers to be “turned over” to their chosen husbands for care when they get married.  These captives stay at home daughters are kept turning away from higher education and careers in order to learn to be good slaves “helpmeets” for their future owners husbands...not to mention the quiverfull of children they will be having..a la The Duggar's or even Andrea Yates. 

I don't care if you are an adult and want to subscribe to this craziness.. Fine, more power to ya' but no child should be made to feel that her only goal in life is to grow up having decisions made for her, to birth as many children as God will allow and that her job is to “submit to an imperfect man’s ‘whims’ as well as his heavy requirements.”  I am not a raging feminist, but I believe that in an advanced society, all members male or female should have equal opportunity to unbiased (read non-religious) education allowing them to become whomever they want to be..be it a stay at home quiverfull mom or a Captain in the Navy whose husband does the majority of the child rearing.

I have raised my son to be an independent thinker and to question everything...the Buddha says that “we should believe nothing merely because you have been told it.” My son has chosen to be areligious at this point in his life. I don't shield him from other religions..if he came to me in the morning and said..I've had an epiphany and I want to worship L. Ron Hubbard..I might totally disagree with him, but hey..I might get to meet Tom Cruise!

So your asking yourselves..GiGi..where are you going with this???

Here's where I'm going..

At this moment sleeping next to me is a precious little one..I love her to the moon and back..but I would not be in this situation if her birth mother believed in birth control..do you know why she doesn't believe in birth control? Because she feels baby's daddy's “religion” forbids it.  Since the daddy's religion is often brought up in regards to little one..I did some research..and I found that..(you're going to be shocked) Islam forbids sex outside of marriage! Can you believe that? Oh and you know what else? Islam actually allows birth control..one of the reasons given to allow birth control is because "the husband cannot financial support more children."  

So lets pretend that its okay to have sex without being married if you're Muslim..but you already have more kids then you can support..guess what..you can use birth control. So why exactly does birth mother believe that birth control is wrong? Let alone why isn't she practicing abstinence?

This leads me to what aggravates me the most about the people who follow religion..they pick and choose what to follow..You want to wear a demin skirt that has some stretch..just forget about Leviticus 19:19...you want to complain about the little ones nails being too long, just say its against your religion. GRRR

That being said..I am all about rituals..rituals define who we are, what we are doing, and how we are going to go about it..I am looking for a non-religious ritual for a child, kind of like a naming ritual.  I'd like it to have something similar to "godparents" as in someone who looks out for the welfare of the child.  If you have one or have a link to one please post it in the comments below.