Humanism, Sexism and the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Those of you that know me well, know that I am a Humanist who leans towards Buddhist teachings.  I don't care what religion you practice be it Christianity, Islam, or even worshiping the Flying Spaghetti Monster as long as you don't rub it in my face or judge me for not following your beliefs.  I shook my head in stunned amazement jumped for joy the other day when the Pope declared it legal for sex workers to use condoms. Hooray..Condoms for all! (BTW in 6 degrees of separation I know the pope..I lived at his nieces farm house when I lived in Germany)

Yesterday someone twittered a link to an article called Creepy Christian Patriarchy Movement Shackles Daughters to Their Fathers and Homes. I can't resist any article that talks about shackling so I took a look.  Apparently there is a faction of Christianity called “Christian Patriarchy Movement.”  This movement reminds me of Christian Domestic Discipline or men who physically abuse spank their spouses in the name of Jesus.  They are “committed to affirming the historic faith of Biblical Christianity”...okay, I'm down with that..there are people in this world who follow a book written by SciFi writer L. Ron Hubbard..a la Tom Cruise!

In the article the author talks about how Christian girls are choosing to live under the rule of their fathers to be “turned over” to their chosen husbands for care when they get married.  These captives stay at home daughters are kept turning away from higher education and careers in order to learn to be good slaves “helpmeets” for their future owners husbands...not to mention the quiverfull of children they will be having..a la The Duggar's or even Andrea Yates. 

I don't care if you are an adult and want to subscribe to this craziness.. Fine, more power to ya' but no child should be made to feel that her only goal in life is to grow up having decisions made for her, to birth as many children as God will allow and that her job is to “submit to an imperfect man’s ‘whims’ as well as his heavy requirements.”  I am not a raging feminist, but I believe that in an advanced society, all members male or female should have equal opportunity to unbiased (read non-religious) education allowing them to become whomever they want to be..be it a stay at home quiverfull mom or a Captain in the Navy whose husband does the majority of the child rearing.

I have raised my son to be an independent thinker and to question everything...the Buddha says that “we should believe nothing merely because you have been told it.” My son has chosen to be areligious at this point in his life. I don't shield him from other religions..if he came to me in the morning and said..I've had an epiphany and I want to worship L. Ron Hubbard..I might totally disagree with him, but hey..I might get to meet Tom Cruise!

So your asking yourselves..GiGi..where are you going with this???

Here's where I'm going..

At this moment sleeping next to me is a precious little one..I love her to the moon and back..but I would not be in this situation if her birth mother believed in birth control..do you know why she doesn't believe in birth control? Because she feels baby's daddy's “religion” forbids it.  Since the daddy's religion is often brought up in regards to little one..I did some research..and I found that..(you're going to be shocked) Islam forbids sex outside of marriage! Can you believe that? Oh and you know what else? Islam actually allows birth control..one of the reasons given to allow birth control is because "the husband cannot financial support more children."  

So lets pretend that its okay to have sex without being married if you're Muslim..but you already have more kids then you can support..guess what..you can use birth control. So why exactly does birth mother believe that birth control is wrong? Let alone why isn't she practicing abstinence?

This leads me to what aggravates me the most about the people who follow religion..they pick and choose what to follow..You want to wear a demin skirt that has some stretch..just forget about Leviticus 19:19...you want to complain about the little ones nails being too long, just say its against your religion. GRRR

That being said..I am all about rituals..rituals define who we are, what we are doing, and how we are going to go about it..I am looking for a non-religious ritual for a child, kind of like a naming ritual.  I'd like it to have something similar to "godparents" as in someone who looks out for the welfare of the child.  If you have one or have a link to one please post it in the comments below.  

It's All About the Boots

So today was a court date for LO's parents...I have to say parents lightly because some anonymous guy has stepped forward and said that he's the baby daddy..it's like a real life Jerry Springer show. So now things have been put-on hold until after the New Year.

What struck me the most was when they brought mom out is how casual she seemed to be about being in an orange jumpsuit and shackled! It was like it was a completely normal thing...I just kept thinking..WHY!

So when that was done I went and did some work...but I did stop at this cool vintage shop and walked away with a pair of boots and a cool Harris Tweed jacket.

Terrific Tuesdays!

So yesterday at 8:30am I got a phone call from the LO's social worker saying that our home care coordinator called in sick so they were canceling the visit with the LO's birth mom this morning..I'm like wh..wh..wh..what?  I had no idea that there was even a visit scheduled..baby wasn't ready that's for sure!  Then she says..oh maybe I forgot to call you.  What the hell?  BTW..I'm not a crazy planner, but I do like an idea of what I'm going to be doing so that I can make sure we are where we need to be or else I begin to get resentful.  But geez..a little earlier notice would have been nice. 

Visits with mom were canceled two weeks ago since she was incarcerated again..but they will be starting up again so LO will be taking her first trip to the county jail next week.  I'm not quite sure that jail is good for 10 week olds, but..it's all about the momma! 

I also found out that baby's daddy has gone to court and established paternity and now would like some visits..which brings up some issues in my mind because daddy doesn't have a job, a car, or a place to live.  Dad is entitled to two visits a week, but who the hell knows where the they'll be at cuz coming to see her here is out..did I say that daddy is homeless?  I did say I was willing to help facilitate some visits, which means that I will taking LO to see him (library?) and then hang out while he visits.   But its all about the daddy!

So now once visits get going there will be a visit once week for mom, two visits a week for dad, and one visit a week for grandma.  Visits for mom and dad will be happening during regular business hours and the social worker doesn't really want a mom and dad visit on the same day..I'm like when the hell am I supposed to work?  But it's all about the birth parents!

And yes I'm frackin' bitter but this is my blog so just get over it! and don't be commenting about it being all about placement back with the birth parents cause I know what the goal is..I'm just being bitter!

I know that a perfect world, mommy and daddy will get their damn acts together and in a period of a few months get out of jail, find a job, get an apartment, and become stable so that LO can move back in with her birth parents, but come on..daddy already has three kids that don't live with him..oh wait that's cuz daddy doesn't have an place or a job. Mommy is a felon with severe mental health issues..When does CPS say NO, enough! We've found a place for your LO and you can still be involved with her life, since its a family member..but you have lost your right to decide her future! When is it about the Little One?

I have to wonder if this is why we have so many kids in the foster care system.  The goal of CPS is placement back into the biological parents home..but if there are so many negatives how can you get to the positive? And when you repeatedly pull a child from their biological parents and place them in foster care homes when do you say enough?  If a child is removed more then twice do you say enough?  And what help are we giving these parents before, during and after replacement?  When do we as a society that wants productive citizens say ENOUGH?